Pushing limits

I have this family member.. "E".. who is overweight. She has a ton of health issues and it got to the point where her doctor's said she needed to take some drastic measures or she wouldn't be around in 5 or so years.

She had gastric bypass surgery. She did really well for awhile and dropped a lot of weight. The main rules Max and I kept hearing were "eat small portions" "no soda" "no drinks with meals" and "no drinking out of straws." Well, over time, E seemed to get comfortable with her new lifestyle and began pushing the limits. Which doesn't surprise me with most people with eating disorders. We began noticing her eating larger portions... more equivalent to portions a normal person would eat. She was drinking liquids with her meals. She'd drink soda, insistent that it didn't bother her stomach.

Well, a few years now have gone by since her surgery and she's obviously gained weight back. Not all of it, but some. My husband is always at the verge of opening his mouth when he sees her "breaking the rules" but I've told him that he needs to keep quiet. Its not our place to say anything... its not our life. She knows the risks and knows where her life could end up if she keeps gaining.

What is irritating is that while Max will say things to E's husband ("EH") about E's eating habits, and he pushes them off like 'Oh it doesn't bother her... she can handle it"... he still babies her. She was in the hospital recently and she had to drink out of a straw per the nurses orders. EH gave the nurse a hard time, saying she was NOT supposed to be drinking out of a straw because of her gastric bypass surgery. Max and I sat by, both wanting to open our mouths thinking "Oh, so now because she's in the hospital its ok to "follow the rules" but when she's at home she can break all sorts of them, even if she normally doesn't drink from a straw."

Anyhow, we obviously kept our mouths shut, and EH finally stopped harassing the nurse and agreed that "Ok, its fine THIS ONE TIME if she drinks from a straw."

Bleh. How annoying.