I think I need a new dishwasher....

Mine is about 5'9", dark hair, dark eyes and seems to be broken.

I've left (very nice) instructions each morning to PLEASE wash up the dishes in the sink and the past two mornings I've woken to a sink full of dirty dishes.

Bleh! Not a fun way to start the day.

See... Max and I have a deal....
I do laundry.
He often folds/puts away the clean laundry.
He washes dishes.
I often put away the clean dishes.

Its a good trade off. However, I find that I'm constantly staring at a sink full of dirty dishes. Is it THAT hard to take 10 minutes at the end of the day to clean up the sink??

If we had room in the kitchen in this house... we'd have bought a dishwasher years ago. Just to save us arguments over something so petty. Kind of like how I'm seriously contemplating having a cleaning lady come once a month to do that "deep cleaning" that I always end up doing... and then resenting Max because I'm always the one who thinks to clean the baseboards and behind the toilet and all that fun stuff...

Pushing limits

I have this family member.. "E".. who is overweight. She has a ton of health issues and it got to the point where her doctor's said she needed to take some drastic measures or she wouldn't be around in 5 or so years.

She had gastric bypass surgery. She did really well for awhile and dropped a lot of weight. The main rules Max and I kept hearing were "eat small portions" "no soda" "no drinks with meals" and "no drinking out of straws." Well, over time, E seemed to get comfortable with her new lifestyle and began pushing the limits. Which doesn't surprise me with most people with eating disorders. We began noticing her eating larger portions... more equivalent to portions a normal person would eat. She was drinking liquids with her meals. She'd drink soda, insistent that it didn't bother her stomach.

Well, a few years now have gone by since her surgery and she's obviously gained weight back. Not all of it, but some. My husband is always at the verge of opening his mouth when he sees her "breaking the rules" but I've told him that he needs to keep quiet. Its not our place to say anything... its not our life. She knows the risks and knows where her life could end up if she keeps gaining.

What is irritating is that while Max will say things to E's husband ("EH") about E's eating habits, and he pushes them off like 'Oh it doesn't bother her... she can handle it"... he still babies her. She was in the hospital recently and she had to drink out of a straw per the nurses orders. EH gave the nurse a hard time, saying she was NOT supposed to be drinking out of a straw because of her gastric bypass surgery. Max and I sat by, both wanting to open our mouths thinking "Oh, so now because she's in the hospital its ok to "follow the rules" but when she's at home she can break all sorts of them, even if she normally doesn't drink from a straw."

Anyhow, we obviously kept our mouths shut, and EH finally stopped harassing the nurse and agreed that "Ok, its fine THIS ONE TIME if she drinks from a straw."

Bleh. How annoying.

Friendships and Honesty

How much honestly and openness is good in a friendship? I mean, about "issues..."

See, a long time ago I used to be one of those people who could bitch about things but never had the guts to say or do anything about it. And, for some reason, recently I've just felt more open... more easily able to confront people when I have issues. Not that I do this verbally or to their face. Email is my method of choice. Maybe not the best, I suppose.

Now, it seems that anytime I DO confront a friend over an issue or irritation that I have, I end up not being friends with them. Maybe I come across too rude or mean, or I just say the wrong things. Maybe I shouldn't be 100% honest about my feelings.

I guess I've always felt it was best to be open about issues that bother you... I used to feel like such a coward for not being able to say what I really felt, but it seems that now that I have that courage that it always backfires. Have we become a society that is too sensitive and can't handle any constructive criticism or conflict?

Spiraling out of control

This will be my first "official" post. And I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I am spiraling out of control.. my thoughts, emotions, relationships with people and everything. Where do I begin?

It started with an issue with my sister. She's pregnant with her second child out of wedlock and she has always depended on family to take care of her child and she also received some state assistance (low cost housing, FIA for daycare etc...). She announced she was pregnant again by a different guy and that they weren't together. I tried to keep my mouth shut, but she retorted by calling me judgmental so I lit into her and told her exactly what I thought and what everyone else thought behind her back. Its just out of control. I feel better that I let off some steam, but then I'm left thinking I should have just kept my mouth shut and not rocked the boat. Anyone else ever do that?

And then I find something out about a friend... she and her husband pretty much can't stand my husband. I knew she had an anonymous blog online and I just happened to check it today and found her only post thus far was about my family... how she can't stand my husband and her husband can't stand him either. Kind of makes for some awkward get togethers in the future. I don't know if I should bring this to her attention that I know their feelings towards my husband, or if I should just keep my mouth shut.

I guess it all stems from me not being able to keep my mouth shut! I am judgmental. I have strong opinions on things and sometimes I feel its best to just be open about it. But then I often find that it backfires.

I vent about my husband a lot. Well, most would say I "bitch" about my husband a lot. I love him, but my word sometimes he drives me crazy and I just need to vent. And now I feel bad about writing on my regular blog about him because I'm thinking that everyone thinks he's a total ass.

And then I go back to this "finding" with a friend and wonder.... is he really an ass? If they don't like him... what does that mean? I guess I feel that way because they're the type of people who give this presence that they have this perfect, holy marriage and they're so respectful to eachother and blah blah blah.

Well, this is becoming quite rambling. I might need to come back to edit and make it more understandable. Maybe I'll elaborate in another post each of these topics. Right now I need to just write it down and get it out.

Move In Day!

Ahh... I'm so excited for my secret pink apartment. My safe haven... my place to rant and vent and let it all out without wondering who is reading and who knows me and what they are thinking. I have lots of blogs, and up until now I've been quite open with my feelings and thoughts on those blogs but I just can't help but sometimes feel guilty for being so "real." Blogging and journaling is very theraputic to me. Sometimes (sometimes more often than others) I just need to get things off my chest and hear back from others who have been there, done that (or at least can empathize with me). So, here is my place to be 100% real and 100% anonymous.

Today is move in day and I can't wait to get settled, get my furniture arranged, decorate a bit and settle in and meet my neighbors. Hopefully I'll find some great friends here in the Pink Apartments and find this safe haven to be therapeutic.