Husband and unfair schedules

Where do I start. Well... lets get some background. My husband is taking night classes to get a degree. He's gone 2-3 night a week each trimester (his school has trimesters rather than semesters). His classes are usually 6-10pm and he's usually out the door at 5pm, rarely eating dinner with us on those nights. This past trimester has sucked... I'm pregnant, he's been gone 3 nights a week, Rory has been in his terrible twos, and husband has also decided he wants to be on a weekly golf league. I thought that was fair, since he doesn't really have "him" time. I go out about once a month with some girlfriends for "me" time, and I plan time inbetween those nights to have a few hours to myself.

Now... lately I feel like I rarely get any help around the house. I'm home along 3-4 nights a week with a two year old and when Max gets home after class or golf he goes straight to bed. Those 3-4 nights I'm practically a single mom, left with all the housework. Yes, he helps out on the other nights/days that he's home... but how is it fair that I don't get any help on the nights he has class/golf?

And... how would HE feel if I did a weekly "girls night" for myself? Well... let me tell you. I brought all this to his attention. Told him that while I support him and encourage him to do things for himself (golf) and I have no problem with it, I do have a problem when his involvement around the house and helping me/his family is slacking. I suggested he drop the golf league in exchange for a monthly "guys night" of golf just like I have my monthly "girls night."

Well... he didn't like that. He argued that he supported us while I was in school for 5 years (although...we didn't have kids then... and even when I was in school full time I still made the same income as I do now as I work part time now, so my income for our family has not changed) and that now is his time to be in school. Mind you... I bugged him for YEARS before we had kids to go to school and he complained that we couldn't afford it then. However... we take out student loans now, and thats the same that we'd have done back then. I tried to argue that yes we have kids now, but that doesn't mean he gets to slack on house/family duties on the nights he has class. He made the choice to wait until we had kids to go to school so that is what he has to sacrifice.

Anyhow... he basically could not see my point of view... he tried to say he does do his fair share. But my word.... for him to do anything I have to ASK. When I come home from work I immediately pick up things around the house. What does he do when he comes home? Checks his email and goes to bed (or.. nights he doesn't have class/ golf... he watches tv or plays with Rory... doesn't voluntarily do housework unless I've requested his help).

So, I told him fine. You have your three nights a week you're out of the house. You take your WEEKLY guys night. I'm going to start planning a WEEKLY girls night for myself... Fridays are now MY night, so don't plan to see me on Friday's. He stuttered and tried to change the stipulations and say that Fri, Sat, Sun are "family" days... that I should do my thing on Wednesdays. OH NO... don't try to dictate when *I* get to do my thing when I'm stuck in this house three nights a week while you're away and responsibility free.

BLEH! I know this is rambling. I'm just fuming. I hate to take a night a week away from our family time... it makes me feel guilty. We already have barely any time as a family together because his schedule is so packed, but how else do I the point across to him that at this point him taking a weekly night to himself is SELFISH and unfair to me? I have no problem if he did a monthly deal like I do, but I guess that's not enough for him. I suppose I'll just have to be selfish as well and hope he'll see how me being gone one measly night a week is not so fun... and that I have to be home while he's gone THREE nights a week.

Am I being completely unreasonable???