How do you get past things that people have said to you that have hurt your feelings or crushed your trust in them? How do you heal those wounds and begin to rebuild that relationship? Do you? Is it possible? Does it depend on the severity of the words? Does it depend on the topic? The actions of the person? How they handled their actions (whether they apologized or not... whether they meant it or not)? Does it depend on the stubbornness of the people on either side of the issue?
I've been pondering this a lot lately.... I've been on both sides at some time or another in my life. I've thrown words that hurt others and I've received hurtful words aimed at me as well. I've had many ins and outs of relationships where we (I and whoever else it is... parent, friend, husband, sibling etc) have moved past the anger/hurt/betrayal/differences and have picked up where we left off. Sometimes it was resolved and healed quickly. Sometimes its taken weeks or months or even years to confront those hurt feelings and move past it.
In the past year I've had a few relationships hit turmoil. Some sprung back quickly and others haven't. In most cases, I've always had relationships come back full circle... although sometimes they're never the same as before. Sometimes they're better. Sometimes they're worse. Some cases... they haven't come full circle and that is what makes me wonder. Why? Why is it easy to disregard other hurt feelings/arguments/disagreements but not others? Why do some situations take longer to get over... to forgive and forget? In some cases is it impossible to forgive and forget?
I've been pondering this a lot lately.... I've been on both sides at some time or another in my life. I've thrown words that hurt others and I've received hurtful words aimed at me as well. I've had many ins and outs of relationships where we (I and whoever else it is... parent, friend, husband, sibling etc) have moved past the anger/hurt/betrayal/differences and have picked up where we left off. Sometimes it was resolved and healed quickly. Sometimes its taken weeks or months or even years to confront those hurt feelings and move past it.
In the past year I've had a few relationships hit turmoil. Some sprung back quickly and others haven't. In most cases, I've always had relationships come back full circle... although sometimes they're never the same as before. Sometimes they're better. Sometimes they're worse. Some cases... they haven't come full circle and that is what makes me wonder. Why? Why is it easy to disregard other hurt feelings/arguments/disagreements but not others? Why do some situations take longer to get over... to forgive and forget? In some cases is it impossible to forgive and forget?
2 comments:
My ability to forgive & forget seems to be based on the level of relationship ~ husband gets the most forgiveness & I really do try to forget (but severity of situation factors into the forgetting)
Parents get more forgive & forget than anyone else would, but they are your parents & there's not much you can do.
With friends .... it depends on the level of friendship & the harm done. Some friendships can't survive, some go through changes & come out stronger ... but it's never really the same.
All that to say, depends on the person & the situation. Not much help huh?
i agree with constance 1m. i feel like with some people this last year, i've had to just forget about them. for example my ex-sil who owes me money-lots of it. i just don't care enough to bother with her. on the other hand, i have a bff who i have been through so much with and can't see anything happening to ruin that.
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